Let's admit it ! Sometimes I procrastinate a lot. Not because I am lazy, but because I am terrified, and it paralyses me.
The text I have in mind doesn't come together yet, I have, well I decided to submit few chapters of my manuscript to a publisher and I must write the cover letter, which is really a hassle for me, as if there is something difficult it is to describe exactly what the book is about and to create a biography of my life (which was so eventful and rich that drafting less than memoirs is a titanic effort).
After a year of studying online, my last exam is next week, and I am just finishing catching up with my modules, the house is a mess, we have a guest arriving tomorrow until Sunday, in short : it's life ! And all I could think about is curling up in my bed, reading an adventure book or one about writing, eating chocolate and postponing everything until tomorrow.
Instead of that, I started colouring...you know those relieve stress adult colouring books which can be found everywhere ! So I spent a bit of time on it, mixing different tools, from crayons to watercolour , playing with the shades, trying to remember packaging of classic French products ( I picked the Parisian theme ). Then I went back to my studies, wrapped up a full session and waiting to begin on the next one. I did a bit more of colourful relaxation, and my priorities became clear. I must be comfortable and proud of the material I will send to the publishing house (and for once they ask for a hardcopy, it feels so much more real and scary), my mind is busy with other deadlines, if I rush I may leave some spelling or syntax mistakes (my written English is not always very good ), and I want the feedback and the cheering of my loved ones before mailing it. It is as simple as that.
So today, procrastinating was good, it wasn't an irrational fear, more a safety cap preventing me to get completely wrong with my goals and how to achieve them. Now I am going to have a nice cup of tea and carry on with my day.